The Dating Problem: Why It’s the Men’s Job to Fix It

There’s a dating problem today, and both sexes are wrong.

But men are the ones who can fix it.

That’s the key. This is not about blame. It is about responsibility. When something in a relationship is broken, it is the man’s role to bring it back into order. That is what leadership is.

A man’s role is to lead. A woman’s role is to support that leadership. If you disagree with that, it might be part of the reason we are in this situation. The polarity between masculine and feminine energy has collapsed. Men have become too feminine, and women have become too masculine.

The Fall of the Masculine

Men have lost their center. They have lost their grounding, their discipline, and their purpose. They have stopped doing the things that define masculinity.

Doing what you say you will do.

Building structure and habits.

Grounding yourself in who you are and what you want.

Pouring into your own cup before trying to pour into someone else’s.

Becoming physically strong and mentally resilient.

Managing your emotions and your impulses.

Knowing your goals and taking consistent action toward them.

That is masculinity. That is strength. That is leadership.

Meanwhile, women have been forced to live in masculine energy, not because they want to, but because they do not feel safe to do otherwise. Society has conditioned women to handle everything themselves, to hustle, to lead, to be “independent boss babes.” The reason they have had to step into that role is simple. Most men stopped leading.

So yes, both sides are wrong. But it is men who hold the key to fixing it. Because true masculinity brings balance wherever there is chaos.

The Loss of Personal Power

Men today have lost their personal power. They are outsourcing their thoughts, emotions, and opinions to social media, mainstream media, and online forums. Yes, even to the douchey online coaches who claim to have all the answers.

Instead of developing their own compass, men are constantly looking outside themselves for direction. We no longer think for ourselves. We scroll to see what we are supposed to think.

Life has also become too convenient. Everything is designed to make us comfortable and lazy. You can order food to your door, get off on porn, swipe right for validation, and never leave your couch. This endless pursuit of easy pleasure has created generations of weak men. Weak physically, weak mentally, weak emotionally, and weak sexually.

We are living on cheap dopamine instead of building real fulfillment through growth.

There is also another layer to this. In the wake of the Me Too movement, many men have become afraid to pursue women. They are afraid to take the lead. Afraid to express attraction. Afraid of being labeled a creep.

So they stay silent. They play it safe. They let fear and confusion dictate how they show up in relationships. That fear is killing polarity. It destroys the natural dance between masculine and feminine energy.

The Path Back to True Masculinity

I see this play out every day with my friends and clients. Katelyn and I have a ton of single friends, both men and women, and most of them are lost. The sexes are talking past one another. They are not on the same page.

Women are afraid to let their guard down. They do not feel safe enough to be feminine, to relax, to trust, to surrender to their man. And yes, surrender. That is what a woman ultimately wants. She wants to feel safe enough to let go. She wants to be led by a man who knows who he is and where he is going.

But that requires men to become who they truly want to be, not who they think women want. That is what makes a man attractive. That is what makes him masculine. That is what makes him magnetic.

Men are meant to bring order to chaos. But before they can do that in a relationship, they must do it within themselves.

A man who is grounded in his purpose, who takes decisive action in a coherent direction, who stops scattering his energy across meaningless distractions, becomes powerful. He becomes disciplined, confident, and capable of leadership.

That man does not need to chase women. He does not need to swipe right. He does not need to read dating books or attend pickup seminars. He becomes a man of value. A man of principle. A man who attracts what is meant for him.

That does not mean relationships will be easy. They never are. Real relationships will challenge you, test you, and stretch you. But they will not feel like a constant battle. They will feel aligned. They will feel right.

The man leads with strength and purpose. The woman responds with trust and surrender. Together they create synergy. Together they create balance.

That is the natural order. That is what masculinity really is.

And it is time we bring it back.